some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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