Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
