i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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