My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
