she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
