you traded sex for a burrito?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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