I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
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I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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