butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
