you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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