I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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