You just made me feel so damn special
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I died a long time ago.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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