I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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