IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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