Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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