How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
