Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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