Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize