K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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