TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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