I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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