Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
