So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you still have your period?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His hands were made for my vagina.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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