Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
