I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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