Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
