Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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