if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
