The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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