he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
