how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
