i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
