so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
