Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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