marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
