Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
