Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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