Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
