I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize