I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize