real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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