You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
