I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
