Who did Billy Mays play for?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
