Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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