he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
