i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
