I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
babies were throwing up all over the place
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
