so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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