I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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