My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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