Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
