went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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