just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
