i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
