How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
