I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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