She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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