Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
