guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
