Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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