You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
