I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
