I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
