Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
