whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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