I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
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he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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