I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
